Saya, Aku, Gue and I

Today, I've been blogging for one year! Yiippie Yay!
Okay, I must admit, one-year blogging isn't exactly an extraordinary record for me to boast, especially compared to those blogger veterans. But, one year being a blogger without once ignoring my blog, and also maintaining another blog, plus making a new one, is an achievement for me. Another plus is when I started this I didn't even know what blog/blogger/blogging was. I didn't even know that words such as template, html, sidebar, shoutbox, and the kinds ever existed in this world... I know, I know, I was such a piteous creature :(

There are million things to reminisce if I'm going to tell you all about my blogging life in a year, BUT consider yourself lucky I'm not gonna do it. Instead, I'll tell you one thing that still disturbs me even after a year blogging. It's worst than html-and-other-blog things, because for these blog things, I can always rely on the kind-hearted-super-power bloggers, like him and him and this (hehehe...) while for this one problem I haven't had a clue yet...

That one thing is choosing the right first-person singular!
When you read my posts (IF you read my posts ha!), you'd probably think what's wrong with me. Read: with ME, not you. Why does this person (read: me) have the habit of changing her first-person singular. Why can't she stick to one style only? One time she uses Saya, other times, Gw, sometimes (which is rare) Aku, and often times she even switches the whole post into English...

Honestly, this thing gets me too. I think a blog should represent the owner, and the representative of the owner is his/her words, style of writing. Now, how would my blog represent me while I don't know how to address myself, while I keep changing my writing style through Saya, Aku, Gue and I?!
Uh-uh, I really don't know why. It just happens like that. I write when I have the mood, and my mood often swings to Saya, Aku, Gw and also I. What's wrong with me?
Another confession I've to make is I also have trouble addressing my self in my real-life situation. Imagine myself in an office meeting where everyone-worth-knowing was present. I got some colleagues who were a loooot older, to whom I usually used Saya. I got a few superiors (not to call them my boss) who were older but not too old, and to whom I usually used Aku (because we were rather close). I also got few superiors who were older but really not old at all and to whom I usually used Gw. Got it? Now, what would you do if you were me being there, in the meeting, with everyone older than you, and you had to talk to them at the same time. What would you use? Saya? Aku? Absolutely not Gue? Tell me please, because it's been bothering me since... ever since, actually.

In blogging, really, that is when I usually switch to English which I always find comfortable to use. This trick hasn't been a problem in blogging, not in real life, though. If I start addressing myself as "I" in my real life, people would put a banner in front of my parents' house (since I don't have a house of my own, yet) read Here Lives An Indonesian Who Thinks Using "I" Is Cute...

Okay, now, it's the part where you've got to tell me what I should do to get rid of this first-person-singular problem. To give you a clue: I'm not really into Aku since Aku sounds cute and girlie while I am... NOT. And I'd love to be able to use Saya freely, but I'll suffer a great deal because Saya sounds serious and formal, while I look more silly in the real life. I am also no fan of addressing myself with my name/nick name, unless to family members. Addressing myself using my own name sounds too childish and it's not good for me because I'm already silly and child-like. I'd prefer Gue which suits my personality well but I know you'd object it for obvious reasons, right?!

So, what have you got for me?

-commemorating one year blogging and trully feeling that it's a life-time achievement-